Inja Holiday: On the use of language

The local language of Kerala is Malayalam. The written form is quite as exotic as it sounds, with loops and curves, quite unlike Hindi sanskrit.

Interestingly, many Keralans do not speak Hindi, only Malayalam and English. So much so that there is a thriving local film industry, becuase many locals do not understand the Hindi-based Bollywood productions.

The Indian flavour of English is somewhat formal, and very precise in terms of grammar. It bears more of a resemblance to polite Victorian English than the Estuary English now prevalent in England. A local will ask 'What is your good name, sir?', and will tell you that the weather will be hot this afternoon, even if it rains in the forenoon.

The media are rather moralistic, which may or may not represent the views of the majority. Combining this with the formal language structures leads to some rather amusing constructions. For example, Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty (Bollywood goddess and recent Big Brother winner in the UK) were presenting at an Aids awareness event when Gere made a rather awful faux pas - he grabbed Shilpa (well, you would, wouldn't you?) and planted a smacker full on her lips, in a rather theatrical yet good-natured stunt. The media went crazy - it apparently broke a multitude of decency rules, and was seen as an infringement of Shilpa's good name. The press ran a story about an indecent act, and ran on to describe the event thus: 'It is all indecency and nudity which our society cannot tolerate.' I just loved the reference to nudity.

By the way, Kerala has a higher literacy rate than the UK...

Inja Holiday: Terrified in Trivandrum

Terrified, not by the people, nor by the intense heat, nor even the Kathakali characters, but by the driving. Our taxi driver told us that the Keralan highway code is based on the British version, circa 1950...

At face value, one is supposed to drive on the left, but I just cannot verify that for you. In reality, the rules of the road appear somewhat similar to the laws of physics - one simply takes the path of least resistance. Imagine you are walking down Oxford Street at the height of the tourist season, and then consider how you might navigate in the two-way flow of pedestrians. Bring to mind the essentially chaotic flow, and the proximity to your fellow walkers. Then transpose that scene onto a motorised scale that includes huge trucks, taxis, motorbikes, rickshaws (tuk-tuks), cyclist and pedestrians. Now you might have an idea of what I'm talking about.

QuickQuiz: It is mandatory to sound your horn as:

1. You approach another vehicle?
2. You overtake another vehicle?
3. You are approaced by another vehicle?
4. You are overtaken by another vehicle?
5. Whenever you like?
6. All of the above?

Need I tell you the correct answer? Suffice to say that the noise is deafening...

However, we're not talking about blasting the horn like irate London cabbies or stressed Seattle commuters, with associated cussing, swearing, obscene gestures, questions about parentage and threats of physical harm. Just the opposite, in fact, everyone seems completely relaxed and equanimous with all the tooting. There were no dents on any vehicle, so I guess the entire, chaotic system works. I suppose it's tempered somewhat by the fact that no vehicle seems capable of speeds over about 25 miles per hour...

Oh, and I forgot to mention the cows. Now, they really don't seem to have read the highway code.

Picture is of the Hindu Temple in Trivandrum.

Inja Holiday: Cricket Loss, Oh well...

Last night I watched as a sub-standard English cricket team got dumped out of the World Cup. My initial consolation was that I was now in good company --- 1 billion Indians who surround me are equally (or let's face it, infinitely more) disappointed by their team's premature exit from the competition. I bonded with the hotel bar-staff over the fact that of the remaining four teams, we all really hope that neither the Aussies nor the Saffers (South Africa) lift the title. We're fairly ambivalent about the Kiwis, but are now really hoping that the Sri Lankans go all the way. Sri Lanka is not a million miles away from Kerala, so there is at least a loyalty driven by proximity, if nothing else. Fact of the day: Sri Lankans are simply referred to as Lankans in India.

My other consolation was of course the beautiful surroundings I find myself in. These shots are of the infinity pool at the hotel. The water in the background is the Arabian Sea. I feel better already...

Inja Holiday: Happy Vishu!

It was New Year in certain parts of India over the weekend. The Bengali festival is called Poila Baishakh, whilst the Tamils celebrate Puthandu. Here in Kerala, the New Year is known as Vishu. There have been a few fireworks, but not much else. People tend to celebrate at home with families and close friends, so no colourful parades to show you, I'm afraid...

The hotel put up a nice display, and there seemed to be a larger number of saris in the sea on the day itself, but that's about it.

Happy Vishu!

Inja Holiday: Ripped off? You decide...

Trying to make up for my lost photo opp at the airport, I decided to capture some colour on Hawah beach. This lady spotted me spotting her and smelt a quick buck. First she made me buy a bunch of bananas for 50 rupees for the pleasure of photographing her, and she then insisted on posing with her friend for a formal shot.

She then assailed me for another 200 rupees after the fact. Considering that a waiter in our hotel earns about 2,000 rupees per month, I think she did pretty well. Was I ripped off? In her eyes, she had definitely turned me over, but the total amount equates to about £3, bananas included...

Inja Holiday: Arrival

Arriving at Tivandrum airport in Kerala, after an extremely early morning in the UK and a 10 hour flight, we were exhausted. It was about six a.m. (local time) when we emerged through customs to see the most stunning sight - thousands of locals crammed together just outside the arrivals hall. The colours were spectacular, and I am now kicking myself that I didn't have my camera ready. That shot would have been spectacular. Ho hum, I'm sure there will be more photo-opps...

Talking of which, I may have found some relatives, though rather bizzarely on Dad's side. I always thought you were a bit swarthy for an Englishman, Dad, and changing the family name from Hawah to Harwar doesn't fool me.

Not sure who this Sid Arthur fellow is though. Sounds more like an eastender than an easterner...